my 40th birthday

Today I went for the awesomest surf of my young, yet exciting career on the waves. My 9th day out (who's counting?), and conditions were perfect. My friend Nick and I went out mid-day (my first afternoon surf) and headed to our local spot. The sky was blue, the water was warm, and below me was my new surfboard helping me get closer to flying. On my mind were thoughts of my wife and son, bright lights on my dark soul, and life was good... but in this life of great days, weeks, years ... this week has been particularly great. I just turned 40 this week, and I am on top of the world. My birthdays are always celebrated heavily and passionately thanks to the love and devotion of my wife, Andrea, and this week was no exception. I sit here looking back and feel that behind me are days full of love and joy, and nights of fire, smoke and oceans. I am blessed.

My new ride, the "Holy Muscle of Love" (see Alice Cooper for more on that...)

Last Sunday my birthday week started in earnest with the arrival of my new surfboard. I sold my first surfboard that came with us from S.F., and traded up for a longer, awesome-er ride - No small thanks to a birthday stipend from my Mom and Dad - they rule for that and many other reasons. Not to mention the wonderful support from my wife, cheering me on as I do this new thing that is quite contrary to my disposition that says "sports = bad!" As of today, I have taken the board out twice and am truly in love. My first day out was Tuesday, and that same day we left town for a few days of Birthday fun in Vallarta, so that surf session kicked off the joy and love of the week. I am taking away from surfing more than I could have ever expected, and less than the future holds - Calm? More zen? I welcome it all, and welcome this new challenge and adventure.

"don't try." - ink on skin (Photo: Donna Day)

We spent 3 days in Old Town Vallarta, and besides going out to great restaurants, eating and drinking non-stop, and generally having a love-fest, my lady got me the gift that last forever - a new tattoo! Anyone who follows my varied writings knows that I am a devotee of Charles Bukowski, and my fave quote of his, which also adorns his gravestone is "Don't Try." When asked by a fan how he writes and creates, he wrote in a letter to a friend "You don’t, I told them. You don’t try. That’s very important: not to try, either for Cadillacs, creation or immortality. You wait, and if nothing happens, you wait some more. It’s like a bug high on the wall. You wait for it to come to you. When it gets close enough you reach out, slap out and kill it. Or if you like its looks you make a pet out of it." I love that "drunkard zen" view of inspiration - or is it procrastination? Whatever, I love it, and now its on my arm. I take this as my mantra into my 40's and beyond...

"B.F.F.'s" - awesome times with my favorite person(s) (Photo: Donna Day)

I am blessed to have my best friend in the world be my wife. For 10 years now, we have been each others confidant, wonder-wall, toxic-twin, and all around fellow raconteur. This has given us the liberty to not have to count on anyone else for anything, as the person we trust most and count on was always at arms reach. We moved to Mexico and kept each other company during the "lonely" days, and party days the same. These days we are blessed with a wonderful circle of friends and a community for both us and our son to grow up in. We celebrate every day that we have the great friends around us that we do, and that they have added so much joy and magic to the Sayulita we love so much. We ended my birthday week with a get together at our local haunt, Sayulita Fish Taco, where all our great pals showed up. It was a blast, and we glowed from the good times for daze to follow. It's pretty amaing to be 40, after looking towards it with wondering eyes for so many years. I couldn't be happier about where I am at, who I have around me, and what the future holds. This has been the best birthday ever, I can't wait for the next.


"So fucking happy" - Mi familia, celebrating my 40th (Photo: Donna Day)

A Decade of Destiny,Devotion and Decadence

Our oldest picture together, March 18, 2000 - Andrea's 26th birthday, still "just friends"...?

Today is the 10th anniversary of Andrea and I meeting. On October 11th, 1999 I was assigned to interview this new prospective Production Coordinator at the company we both used to work at. That morning, through the fog of my life, this dark, so cool, one-of-a-kind alternative to the alternative chick walked in, and little could I have known (or did I?) that this was the most important day of my life. That very moment I was meeting the woman that would come to mean so much to me, and to give me through her love the power and ability to do anything my black black heart would desire.

Andrea has allowed me over the years to be the darkest, baddest, down-right dangerous to know motherfucker; and been my partner in love-crime right through me becoming the brightest, lovingest and awesomest Daddy my son could dream of having. That is the magic of having the right partner in the world, they are the key to the lock you were born with - it was all destined to be, all the stars aligning, the right hearts broken, all the right roads taken or forsaken, leading right up to a meeting that would forever change history, and make you the person you were meant to be.

I get a little stoney thinking about it today: what if some Genie-devil would have appeared to Andrea and I, on this fateful morning in 1999 in that interview office, and told us that in 10 years we would be married, living in Mexico in a house we built, and have a one year old son? What would those kids say to that craziness? Today I can only say that it was meant to be, and that if that reality diverged, we would have ended together in another way. I know this, I feel this, and I love this. Andrea is my one and only true love, and we are meant to be here today, together, and nothing could or will ever change that.

As I turn 40 this week, I know that I am where I should be in life, and most importantly, with who I am supposed to be with, forever. I can't wait for the rest of my life.

"First day of my Life"

This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don't know where I am, don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up

And you said, "This is the first day of my life.
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.
But, now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy."

So if you wanna be with me
With these things there's no telling
We'll just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery

Besides, maybe this time it's different
I mean I really think you like me

"First day of my Life" - Bright Eyes *note from author: if you have never heard this song, go listen to it with your loved one now.

10 years later, la Familia Villarrubia 2009