Gabrea Journal
The ongoing adventures of three Libertines in love!

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Sunday, September 06, 2009

On a clear day you can see forever

It's Sunday morning, and today I woke early with my son. My wife tends to be the one that rises with the sun and the Son every day - so most Sundays as hard as it is for me, with my love's gentle request, I take the gig. I always appreciate it once it's all in motion; coffee is stirring my hardened blood, love stirring my barely beating heart, a strong shot of satisfaction from the knowledge that I am giving a little back to my wife who works so hard for me and my Son - all of that makes me warm in the morning Mexican light. Suddenly, life is good. I clear the dreams away with some morning smoke, and I am alive again.

First things first. Slow down. The boys take to the couch for a little "just woken" snuggle and TV, and end up watching most of "Speed Racer", a recent Wachowski re-envisioning of the 70's Manga Japanese cartoon of a gifted, duh, speed racer- in truth, only I watch it, while Maxxi seems very happy to thumb repeatedly through a photo album of my life as a baby back in Argentina. I laugh to myself wondering at the magic of what I am watching. Maxxi seemingly fascinated at pictures of a little baby that looks just like him - Me. Far out. The film is surprisingly entertaining, I cheer for the good guy, feed the boy, and we strap up for a morning walk through town.

Sayulita in the morning holds a certain magic, the air still cool from the nights rain, yet you can feel the evaporating moisture creeping up on you like a bully that chased you yesterday. "I can take him" I tell myself. We walk through the Sunday market, which never holds much retail value to us, but is always fun to amble through anyway. Maximo was in rare form, waving and smiling at all takers, filling his fan-club roster with every gal he passes. I feel proud. The heat continues to bully us, so after circling most the town, we head home. Mom is stirring, Maxxi is grumping, and its time for my little speed racer's first pit stop of the day.

The last weeks are layered with so much love, lessons and wonderful memories that it seems more than one man deserves. My Son turned one year old and has allowed Andrea and I to celebrate our first year doing the most important job ever gifted on humans - parenthood. As we closed his first year, it is just as easy to wonder at how much he has grown, as how much we have. We were given yet another perspective by having Maximo's amazing grandparents here for the birthday week. Gramps Billy Stoops and my folks Nono and Nona Villarrubia brought so much love and magic to Maxxi's first birthday week that it is just impossible to imagine it without them. As a younger man I can be honest that often distance from my parents was a good thing. I was a boy who moved out early, lived a very non-traditional young adulthood, and though I saw my parents often, had my own private life. Today I can see such a clear future where I want nothing more than my parents as much in my life as possible, and for my Son to have them in his life as well. I barely knew my grandparents, as we left Argentina very young and rarely visited. I do not want the same to be said by my Son. With the house finished, and us almost ready to move upstairs, all grandparents will soon have their own guestroom downstairs, and a home in Sayulita to call their own. It's the least we can do to say thanks for a life of love.

Love. Love is everything to me, and has given me all that I have. I am thankful for all the love in my life, my Wife being the focus of that love - yet some days I let it get buried in all the other things going on, or in some cases, in all the nothing going on. I quote Huxley often in saying "a true traveler finds boredom rather agreeable than painful, it is the symbol of his liberty, his excessive freedom..." - sometimes idle minds are the devils plaything and we can let boredom become a lack of action, or cause of frustration. I am making a pact with myself to assure I keep my freedom an always positive energy and outlet, and not become so adjusted to this amazing life we have created for us that freedom and free-time becomes a negative. I will think on this often, today and on. As I exit this first year of parenthood, I want to shed some of the instinctive "I am a new parent, I have no time for other things" cliche, and make sure I put more time and effort into my love with my wife. I have nothing without her, I am nothing without her, and this life would not be here without her being in it. Time to shine a brighter light back on my wonderwall.

As we enter a new season here in Sayulita, There are some things I want to do more of. I want to write more. I want to write more casually, with less effort and more passion. "Don't Try", as my latest debauched idol Hank Bukowski said till his grave and on his gravestone - just DO. More little bits of life, written on the fly. Always my inspiration, Andrea is doing some great writing these days, full of love and life. First, she is publishing an amazing mothering blog, !Que Madre! - motherhood looks good on Andrea, and it has made an amazing woman that much more... also, she is showing her love for our town of Sayulita on a weekly basis writing the opening of our local online paper, the Sayulero. You can read her intros on current and past issues here - they even interviewed yours truly recently!

I love Sundays, I find them retrospective on the week behind, the life I am in, and the possibilities ahead. Today I have no plans (which I love), a Woman I love across from me, favorite love songs playing on the record player, and a baby sleeping in the bedroom surely ready to spend a fun day with his folks. We are going to go for a walk and breakfast in a few, first drinks at 1pm, nap at 3, family bath at 5 and surely a long lazy day surrounding it all. Through the haze, at least today, I can see clearly.

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